From One Fire to Another
- btolstedt5
- Oct 25
- 3 min read
For the last month, I've been working, training, and receiving an education at the Family Crisis Center. The part time job just kind of happened and I am thankful for the person who mentioned it to me. My official title is Facilitator. I co-facilitate the men's domestic violence (DV) groups. Most of the men are court ordered to the program which lasts about a year.
One friend commented "Wow, you went from one fire right into another one." It's been an education, for sure. But you know what? I have learned so much from the men in the program. Don't get me wrong. They are charged with DV and some of the crimes make my stomach drop. They are certainly there for a reason. They have also decided to work the curriculum and dig deep. I won't claim there is a 100% success rate, but for the men who complete the program, they all have said that they wish they would have known about it earlier in their life.
I have watched the men challenge each other on their own crap, discover familial patterns, recognize childhood trauma, and own up to the trauma they caused their partners. I was worried that I would be working with men that hate women. What I learned is that DV is a control issue and often has little to do with hate or anger.
I sit in one to four groups each week and listen to the men present their assignments. I have to admit that a few presentations hit close to home. I soon recognized issues in my past relationship, and painfully, I recognized patterns I, myself, used in that relationship. So I started going through the curriculum personally. I'm looking at my own crap. I found that I was sometimes the perpetrator as much as a victim.
So that's another fire, I guess, and Reiki has come in handy a few times. I take extra time to protect myself and FCC is on top of debriefing, supervision, and training. My colleagues are amazing, and I don't hesitate to ask them questions or share something that caught my attention. I spend more time on self care and rest now.
My Reiki practice is still active but I moved out of my office. I haven't actively pursued clients so it seems silly to pay rent just to store my stuff. I am adding something exciting though. I completed my first level Life Coaching certificate last weekend. I'm slowly building my practice to what I dreamed it would be one day. I will complete my Master Level certificate in December.
I worked harder for that certificate than I did for anything I've done in the past. I also met some awesome people in my cohort. And my cat, DH, was elected at the class mascot!
So, I'm ready to start coaching and I am currently looking for clients. I'm still looking for Reiki clients. I'm looking for coaching clients that want to integrate Reiki into their self discovery. I'm looking for Reiki clients that want to dig deeper and set some goals. My schedule has changed and I can work where you are. When you get a chance, check the new information in Services or FAQ.
My own coach reminds me each time we meet that I've only been retired for a little over four months. I remember other teachers telling me that they were busier after they retired. I'm not sure the right word is "busier." I'm wondering if a better word would be fulfilled? My life has improved so much since I left teaching. And since I don't want to make this blog longer than it needs to be, check out my essay on Substack about education. I said that is where I would be raw and honest, and I don't think I let you down. Check it out at the link below.
Comments